What fairytales don’t tell you
Description
7 Things You Should Never Say to Your Man During A Football Game
Should You Have a Marriage Mission Statement?
25 Things You Must Include on Your Marriage Bucket List
How Expectations in Marriage Can Help or Hurt You
6 Ways to Deal When Your Husband Doesn't Appreciate You
How Training for a 5K is Just Like Marriage
How Do I Avoid a Relationship Shutdown?
What Makes a Courageous Husband and Father?
That Type of Behavior is Going to Make Him Think You Are Crazy!
Marrying the "Bad Boy" Might Just Be a Good Thing
Why Wait for the Bad Times? Get Couples Therapy Now!
7 Habits Which Create an Unbreakable Marriage
Behind a Stale Marriage: Why He Has Turned Cold
I feel like I have to complete a thought. A little while ago I posted about happily ever afters and what they can and should mean to all of us single folk. It was a post full of thoughts for a personal revolution. But, much like anything in life, there are two sides to every story. So today I’d like to post about the flip side of redesigning my own personal happily ever after.
It wasn’t until after my second divorce that my vision of the future changed. Up until then I still assumed there was someone out there for me and I too could ride off into the sunset with him. But when things fall apart so hard, you need something to hold onto. And so I began to think of ways to make a satisfying ending to my story alone.
That’s a positive thing. Taking control of one’s own destiny and happiness. Spitting on fate and making a life you can believe in. Taking control. It’s empowering and good and I stand behind it.
But it’s also tiring. Because for each new dream I have to make and build, an old one is buried underneath it. Each time I make the effort to revise my vision of the future, I first have to dig a grave for the old thoughts of what might be.
Many of you will find this hard to imagine, but I had those dreams of a future with someone else again. I spent my nights imagining the life we’d have and the things we’d do. I tried to picture if we’d have children or not, and if we did what they’d look like and what we’d name them. I mulled over tentative vacation plans. I even considered what kind of engagement ring I’d like if I were to get one again.
And now I have to dig a grave for that life that was becoming so clear in my mind (even though I couldn’t decide between princess cut or marquise). I have to find a way to let it go.
I’m not even angry about that crazy Facebook bitch anymore. I do forgive what happened. I don’t hate LC and I’m not angry at him. But everything that happened just seems to be too much. LC blames himself for letting that happen. He says he’s better than that and I believe him about that. But I also know it wasn’t his fault. I know I put too much stress on our relationship for it to ever be anything but broken. By straddling the line for so long, I am the one who cracked this dream. What he did wasn’t good by any means. And yes, he should have told me what was happening. But that never would have come to be if I had done the right thing in the first place. What happened and this ending are ultimately my fault. And I will have to find a way to live with that.
LC says he can’t imagine me living a life alone. He has lots to say about how intelligent and beautiful and successful I am. How people like me don’t have solitary endings. Even now he says I deserve better than this. That I deserve to be happy.
And maybe I do deserve to be happy. Maybe someday I will be. But I’m afraid that journey is going to have to be on my own. So I will box up the pretty dreams of blonde babies and European vacations. I will add the sounds of the river and pretty diamond rings. I will lay in fun getaways and sun lit strolls by the lake. I will wrap it in the security of having someone hold me every night and tell me how loved I am. It will all be in good company. And I will seal it with the knowledge that I did this thing and made it what it now is. Then I will close that box and bury it deep, hopefully where I can’t pry it open again. Hopefully under the foundations of something new someday.
One of my favorite lines from a song is in Semisonic’s Closing Time: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” And this is what we don’t often tell people about making new dreams. In order to make way for something new, you have to let go of something else. And sometimes, the beginning you let go of takes a piece of you with it.
Before I shut that dream box, I will add a piece of my heart to it. Another piece that no one else may ever have. It belongs to the river, and the sun, and the vacations, and the babies, and the rings, and that love. It belongs to LC.
Should You Have a Marriage Mission Statement?
25 Things You Must Include on Your Marriage Bucket List
How Expectations in Marriage Can Help or Hurt You
6 Ways to Deal When Your Husband Doesn't Appreciate You
How Training for a 5K is Just Like Marriage
How Do I Avoid a Relationship Shutdown?
What Makes a Courageous Husband and Father?
That Type of Behavior is Going to Make Him Think You Are Crazy!
Marrying the "Bad Boy" Might Just Be a Good Thing
Why Wait for the Bad Times? Get Couples Therapy Now!
7 Habits Which Create an Unbreakable Marriage
Behind a Stale Marriage: Why He Has Turned Cold
I feel like I have to complete a thought. A little while ago I posted about happily ever afters and what they can and should mean to all of us single folk. It was a post full of thoughts for a personal revolution. But, much like anything in life, there are two sides to every story. So today I’d like to post about the flip side of redesigning my own personal happily ever after.
It wasn’t until after my second divorce that my vision of the future changed. Up until then I still assumed there was someone out there for me and I too could ride off into the sunset with him. But when things fall apart so hard, you need something to hold onto. And so I began to think of ways to make a satisfying ending to my story alone.
That’s a positive thing. Taking control of one’s own destiny and happiness. Spitting on fate and making a life you can believe in. Taking control. It’s empowering and good and I stand behind it.
But it’s also tiring. Because for each new dream I have to make and build, an old one is buried underneath it. Each time I make the effort to revise my vision of the future, I first have to dig a grave for the old thoughts of what might be.
Many of you will find this hard to imagine, but I had those dreams of a future with someone else again. I spent my nights imagining the life we’d have and the things we’d do. I tried to picture if we’d have children or not, and if we did what they’d look like and what we’d name them. I mulled over tentative vacation plans. I even considered what kind of engagement ring I’d like if I were to get one again.
And now I have to dig a grave for that life that was becoming so clear in my mind (even though I couldn’t decide between princess cut or marquise). I have to find a way to let it go.
I’m not even angry about that crazy Facebook bitch anymore. I do forgive what happened. I don’t hate LC and I’m not angry at him. But everything that happened just seems to be too much. LC blames himself for letting that happen. He says he’s better than that and I believe him about that. But I also know it wasn’t his fault. I know I put too much stress on our relationship for it to ever be anything but broken. By straddling the line for so long, I am the one who cracked this dream. What he did wasn’t good by any means. And yes, he should have told me what was happening. But that never would have come to be if I had done the right thing in the first place. What happened and this ending are ultimately my fault. And I will have to find a way to live with that.
LC says he can’t imagine me living a life alone. He has lots to say about how intelligent and beautiful and successful I am. How people like me don’t have solitary endings. Even now he says I deserve better than this. That I deserve to be happy.
And maybe I do deserve to be happy. Maybe someday I will be. But I’m afraid that journey is going to have to be on my own. So I will box up the pretty dreams of blonde babies and European vacations. I will add the sounds of the river and pretty diamond rings. I will lay in fun getaways and sun lit strolls by the lake. I will wrap it in the security of having someone hold me every night and tell me how loved I am. It will all be in good company. And I will seal it with the knowledge that I did this thing and made it what it now is. Then I will close that box and bury it deep, hopefully where I can’t pry it open again. Hopefully under the foundations of something new someday.
One of my favorite lines from a song is in Semisonic’s Closing Time: “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” And this is what we don’t often tell people about making new dreams. In order to make way for something new, you have to let go of something else. And sometimes, the beginning you let go of takes a piece of you with it.
Before I shut that dream box, I will add a piece of my heart to it. Another piece that no one else may ever have. It belongs to the river, and the sun, and the vacations, and the babies, and the rings, and that love. It belongs to LC.
Début de l'événement
12.05.2022
Fin de l'événement
12.05.2022